I believe in the sand beneath my toes...

I believe in the sand beneath my toes, 

The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling...

I believe in the faith that grows

And the four right chords could make me cry

When I'm with you I feel like I could die 

and that would be all right...all right.  

I love the beach.  The air, the waves, even the invading sand.  You can be annoyed by its grittiness, or just accept it for what it is.  It's going to get in between your toes anyway.

It's been good to be down here, even if only for a few days.  Holden Beach has such a calming effect.  It's a safe place, and always has been.  This particular beach reminds me of Steamboat-like nothing bad could ever touch me here.  

A couple of seagulls just drifted by me.  you know, I don't really like birds so much.  I think I'm a tad jealous actually.  They get to soar around on thermals all day, and then people throw food at them!  What could be better?  Esther was launching some hush puppies at them earlier.  It reminds me of Joseph throwing grapes in my mouth.  We're quite the act these days.  

I'm procrastinating on writing a paper right now, just sitting on the porch with Papa.  He's hilarious, always cracking these little one liners. We were talking about how the water is normally an array of different colors-light green, dark green, light blue, dark blue.  Now however, it's all grey.  Not gray, but grey.  Gray is the color of pencil lead-not yet black, but getting there.  Grey however, is something more tangible.  It's a color that's vital and alive, like sky right after twilight, or the ocean right now.  The ocean is definitely grey.  

The Wallflowers

Come on try a little,

nothing is forever.

There's got to be something better than

in the middle.  

Me and Cinderella

We put it all together

and we can drive it home

with one headlight.  

Today's been a Wallflowers day for some reason.  I don't know, Jacob Dylan's just got it for some reason.  It really has nothing to do with being Bob Dylan's son either...

So I've discovered something quite interesting this week.  OSU has these big ol' brick buildings, absolutely overflowing with books.  I wandered into one, completely by accident, and some kind soul took pity on me and explained that campus has libraries.  Go figure.

Admittedly, I have been in the SEL about a handful of times before last week, but I've never actually used it as the resource that it could be.  And today I was blown away after my trip to the Ackerman Library (warehouse?) in a search for books for my 561 class.  Sure, the seemingly abandoned books may be set up amongst forklifts, but it was amazing how many they have stored there.  There was no real reason for me to get an apartment this year...from now on I'm living at Ackerman.  

I looked up a few titles, and went searching armed with a myriad of numbers.  The shelves are erratically arranged, expanding on forever with no apparent semblance of order.  However, after much searching, I finally found Kahn's Boys of Summer in GV875.B7 K3. I cannot rely the tremendous satisfaction of finding that particular book at that particular number after wandering and craning my neck down three separate rows.  Since the library was all but a ghost town, I actually started dancing down the aisle and celebrating a victory over the Dewey Decimal System.  I went so far as to cry out, "Yes!!!" complete with the fist pump, when I heard someone clear their throat.  Some guy was actually studying in there!  I'm sure that he originally went to look for a book and got so lost in those rows that he never found his way out, and he's just stayed at that desk ever since.  But I felt horrible, he actually seemed really perturbed. 

But there's my embarrassing moment of the day (not counting my cell phone going off in class...).  I'm sure I'll never see that guy again, so no worries anyway.  Of course, now that I say that, we're going to end up having a class together and he's going to be stuck sitting next to me the whole quarter.  I'll probably hit him on the head with my purse when I walk in that first day, and then he'll say, "Oh man, it's the dancing girl from the library again.  Why in the world is it always me?"

I guess we'll see...

 

When all of your tears dry, let your troubles roll by...

So I've enjoyed keeping online journals before, but due to inspiration from Heather and my CNF class at OSU, I think I'm going to start afresh on this one.  It seems like it's time again...so welcome to my blogspot blog :)   I titled it 'Absolutely Normal Chaos,' after my favorite book by Sharon Creech-my copy of that is scotch taped together, and it seems fitting for my life right now.  Things are generally chaotic around me, and that's absolutely normal.  I love it, about 93% of the time.  

Al and I were talking about this the other day over wings at Bdubs (delicious-honey BBQ by the way).  I told her I thought I was going batty, and she commented about how it's no small wonder why.  I think I've gone through more major 'life changes' in the past six or seven months than most people go through in six or seven years.  Here's a smattering of past events:

1. Breaking my leg-Last September I shattered my ankle in a skydiving accident.  That meant taking time off of school, not walking, moving back home, and learning that I had an affinity for knitting.  Who knew?  
2. Joseph-I met and fell in love with the man I'm going to marry.  That's a story in itself.
3. Being in a cult-or a church with cult-like tendencies.  
4. Leaving the cult-or the church with cult-like tendencies.
5. Moving three times.
6. Choosing a career path.  
7. Dad dying.  It's almost been one month.

Some things are certainly overstated (the cult...it wasn't a cult, just a church of good people who happen to have some out there beliefs), some things are understated, and some things are just stated.  But they're all true, and they've all happened to me in a short time.  

It's times like these you learn to live again,

It's times like these you give and give again.

It's times like these you learn to love again,

It's times like these, time and time again.

~Foo Fighters

So I still have a TON of stuff to do for tomorrow, and alas, it's already 11:15.  Maybe this blog will just help me procrastinate more?  Exactly what's needed.  I'm going to stop here before I start rambling, and call it a first entry.