The Bachelor

So, this quarter I've had a slightly unhealthy addiction to the reality show, "The Bachelor."  Halfway through the first episode, Joseph called me and was like, "Honey, you've gotta see this!  25 girls fawning over one guy!"  I flipped the channel, and was instantaneously hooked.  I hadn't seen an episode from any other season, but this one seemed to me to be very, very different.  Jason, this season's bachelor, was not only strikingly handsome.  He seemed funny, intelligent, and strangely honest.  For a reality TV show, it's odd to see someone who honestly reacts to things rather than following whatever plot producers have set up.  

And I've followed him along this season.  I had my fan favorites:  Stephanie, the mom who lost her husband and had to raise her daughter alone (I loved her colorful style and faith); Jillian, the fun loving Canadian with a wicked sense of humor (and was absolutely gorgeous); and then Melissa, the cute girl from Dallas that Jason fell in love with on day 1.   I watched as one by one, my favorite girls were cast off, finally leaving Melissa as the girl who Jason claimed undying love for and proposed to on the stunning New Zealand coast.

Though the show's premise is obviously ridiculous, and the chance of finding real love on television a mil to one, they put a great show on of making it as real as possible.  Which leads to my absolute surprise, when at the end of the episode tonight, the most ridiculous events took place.  Jason, deciding that he and Melissa didn't have the same chemistry six weeks after he'd proposed, wanted to break it off and pursue things with his second choice, Molly.  And after watching a break up followed by a reunion between Molly and Jason 20 minutes later, I have to say I'm a little disgusted.  And angry!  (Boy am I angry...)

Because it's RIDICULOUS!  (This is the point where you say, "But Rilla, you were watching the BACHELOR!  You can change the channel at any point in the show!"  Though I really can't, hence the said "Bachelor addiction..." but this all is beside the point).  The ideas that they portray and perpetrate about love on this show infuriate me!  And I was manipulated into following a contrived plot, hoping against hope that for once reality TV might actually be real.

And in some ways, it is.  No wonder Jason is a Bachelor-and unless I am markedly wrong, the poor guy's going to remain so.  He is so jaded about what love is, and so confused, that I doubt he can tell left from right.  It's honestly sad.  He claims to follow his heart, follow his feelings, to what he believes is right.  Now I may only be 21 years old, but even I know more than that.  Your feelings constantly change, on your mood.  Being "in love" isn't an illusion, no.  It's a real thing, but being "in love" is not something that's constant.  It all circles back to unconditionally loving someone.

Break that down, "unconditional."  Un- meaning not, conditional-meaning with certain terms and limitations.  "Unconditional" means disregarding those limitations, and frankly The Bachelor does not know how to love like that.  Cliche as this sounds, he has been raised on an instant gratification mindset, and he is completely taken aback when he finds that his feelings toward a certain person change.  When you really, truly love someone, you know that no matter how you "feel" toward that person for any give time, your status of loving them never changes.  This does not apply in just romantic relationships.  It plays out in every relationship in our lives.  There is a difference between falling "in and out of love," and loving someone.  And I guess I realized tonight, through a silly TV show, how terribly far our society has come from that.  And it makes me sad.  

The answer's right there in front of us, if we would only take care to look.  

Now, to the annotated bibliography that I've yet to start :)